Under the Influence and Impact
Hi, my name is Bill Tierney. I am a certified IFS practitioner and a results coach and I work with my coaching clients using the IFS model almost exclusively. I started coaching in 2011 and was introduced to the IFS model in 2016 as a therapy client. Three years later I began my training and became certified by 2021. Uh, Now when I'm working with my clients, I use the model to help them achieve the results that they came to coaching to achieve. And when I am working with a part, and this is what I want to talk to you about in this video, hopefully you can use this information whether you're a therapist, a practitioner, or someone who's just using the IFS model for their own personal development and healing as you get to know your parts.
One of the things that I've been doing for few years now is that when I begin to help a client get to know a part, I ask them initially, what do you already know about this part? And what I want to know is when you're under the influence of this part, in other words when the part blends with you, how are you influenced?
So let's start by looking at what are your thoughts when you're under the influence of this part? What are your emotions when you're under the influence of this part? What is your behavior when you're under the influence of this part? And then just recently I realized just how important it is To also look at what is the impact
that this part has on you, not only in the moment with your thoughts and your emotions and your behavior, but also long term. How are the other parts impacted? How are the people in your life impacted? How's your performance and productivity impacted? How's your ability to stay present impacted? And what I'm finding is that by asking these questions, The part is actually listening as the host for the part, the client, answers my questions.
I'm listening as a coach for, are those questions being answered according to the facts of what happened? What happens when, under the influence of this part? Or, is the client answering these questions under the influence of another part that perhaps is polarized or somehow opposed, to the target part?
Let's say that second case is not the case, the latter is not the case. That the client is just answering from, this is what happens when I'm under the influence of this part. The part's listening. And so as soon as we've kind of fleshed that all out, I'll go to the, back to the client and say, now, would you please connect with this part?
And once you're connected with it now, will you ask, how did we do? Did we get it right? What did we miss? First of all. Is it accurate? Is what was reported about how the host, the client, is influenced by you when you are activated, is it accurate? Number two, if it's not accurate, can you fill us in? What are we missing?
What more would you like us to understand about how you influence or at least intend to influence the client? Number three, were you aware that the client is influenced in these ways?
Were you aware and did you intend that? Do you intend that the client is impacted in those ways? And were you aware that they think the thoughts they think? Were you aware that they had the emotions that they had? Were you aware that they behaved in that particular way? And were you aware of the impact on other parts, on other people, on, and long term on things like energy and health?
The unintended consequences, were you aware of all of that? And now what more do you want us to understand? So, by doing this. The client reports their experience when under the influence of the part, the part listens in and now begins to understand itself in a way that it didn't understand itself before.
Just like you and I might have a conversation and you might ask me questions that I wouldn't otherwise consider answers to. And now that I begin to answer your questions, I begin to learn about myself in a way that I otherwise can't. Oh, I have this opinion. I have this perspective. I view things in this particular way.
I kind of knew that, but maybe I didn't. In a way, it's a way to learn about our parts without actually identifying the parts that we're learning about when two people are having a conversation. However, when we're working with a part and I'm asking preliminary questions of the client about that part, the parts listening and learning about itself and learning how it's perceived and learning its impact and learning whether or not.
It's appreciated what, might show up, learning about whether or not it's effective, and now there's an opportunity when we switch to what more do you want us to understand? What didn't we get right? What is it that we don't understand accurately? The PART has a real opportunity here to be seen, known, understood, and eventually appreciated for what it's trying to accomplish.
At the same time, the PART is really getting an update. Even through the exploration process as to the impact it's having on the client, or I also refer to the client as the host, the host of the part, and on the rest of the world, inner and outer. So, I wanted to share that for you, with you, that, that I'm having this kind of progress with my clients, with my own facilitation, and it's kind of exciting, because it's a different way to use IFS and parts work.
Which gets a lot of the information out directly from the client who's having the experience and gives the part an opportunity then to correct or clarify and add to the understanding. I'm going to post this. I'd love to get your comments on how what I'm sharing with you has had an impact if you're going to try it yourself or if you do things that are similar in terms of how to get to know parts.
Thanks for listening.
