Making the New Year New

Making the New Year New

Bill: Well, happy new year, Marty.

Marty: Happy New Year, Bill.

Bill: Today is January 8th, 2025, as we record this episode, and we've decided that we'd like to talk about the new year and how to make the new year new. In fact, Marty, you just wrote and released a newsletter article addressing this. So let's let that be our guide today for this conversation. Coincidentally, I also have been talking about the new year. It shouldn't be a coincidence for coaches. And there's a lot that, that happens as the new year turns over. So

Marty: like, it used to be every single new year, I would do this big, you know, closing down 2024, here's how, and then ringing in the new year, here's how, and, um, it, you know, after doing this for so many years, after a while, you know, it gets. It's kind of a well beaten path, let's just say. And I, you know, it might be two, three years now since I did make a big deal. And guess what? Now all my clients are like, why don't you give us something to guide us through the completion of the last and the creation of the new year? So I got prompted this year and, and that's great. I mean, it's one of the things I love about being a coach, you know, as soon as you're a coach. You know, your attention is no longer where it needs to be. Your clients will help bring it back.

Bill: yeah, they'll let you, they'll let us know what they need for sure.

Marty: Exactly.

Bill: You know, you're, you're, uh, reminiscing on what you used to do in the past reminds me that even before I became a coach, Or before I knew that what I was doing was coaching, I was in the mortgage origination business. I was a loan officer. And, uh, one of the strategies and methods that I used to try to attract real estate agents who would refer me their bar, their, their buyers so that I could loan their buyers money was that I would help them to wrap up the year and plan for the next year, mostly plan for the next year. And so it would be creating 2010, creating 2011. And what was unique about that. And, uh, was that I would invite real estate agents from all over the city, uh, half a million people live in our city. Uh, I believe that at that time there was probably 3, 000 real estate agents in, in the city, uh, that were active. I'd send out invitations and I'd get 20 people to show up for this workshop. And they were from all these different offices and my fellow loan officers and branch manager. We're just amazed that I was able to bring all of these, these sworn enemies into the same room without a fistfight. And it was great. We really, we had a good time. We spent about four hours together and we just looked at some real basic things. Like, what do you want? What do you want next year to look like?

Marty: Well, I had one request. Um, this might be something we talk about. Um, how I make my resolutions? You know, like I do, that one client was, know, uh, really wants to start afresh topic here. And he said, I got some resolutions, but do I make sure they stick? You know, can you give me a framework, a structure for, for making them in a way that they're sustainable? so I, I gave him five steps to follow. and

Bill: Do you know what five steps, what those five steps are?

Marty: I do, yeah.

Bill: Let's hear about it.

Marty: step number one is just to write down the things in your head, what, what, what you're thinking right off the top of your head, like, know, whatever it is. Well, I, I, you know, I want to be nicer, and I want to run more, and I want to, I want to make twice as many, okay, just write all that stuff down that you've got on your mind already, well, you know, just don't, don't think about it, just write it down, and then set that aside. Now, there's some value in there, but let's get at it from a better angle. Secondly, take a moment really ground yourself and go inside, right? This might take a moment. You know, like getting into a meditation, you're not just there right there. It might take a moment, but get yourself quiet inside and envision yourself living the life that you want to in the new year, right? Knowing who you are, your purpose, your values, and the things that are most important to you. Um, and then once you're there, come out and write down the habits of behavior that are going to mean. you maintain that you in the vision that you just had set those aside, right? That was value in those but hang on third step Observe that there are three different categories of New Year's resolutions There are New Year's resolutions that are great ideas there and secondly There are New Year's resolutions that are things that you're all for right and then there are And thirdly, New Year's resolutions that you embody, you just, you are that you know, like, um, frugality. I, I'm going to embody frugality. I am frugality, right? I'm not just for it. You know, like I'm for the Patriots, or I'm for recycling. I embody frugality. I'm, I'm gonna be frugality. So then, fourthly, you want to take all the things from those other two buckets and put them into one of these three categories. Where do they fall? just good ideas? they things that you're all for? You might do certain things in alignment with them. Or are they things that you just are? You're going to embody them. You're going to live, be the living embodiment of them. Put everything into the correct category. Then you want to sort out things that from that third category. Right, the things that you plan to embody, sort out the things that are, are not smart in specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time based. Right,

Bill: people might not have heard that before. Would you slow that piece down? Smart as an M4.

Marty: So we often talk about smart goals and coaching, right? And those are goals that are specific. They're not vague or general. They're specific. They're measurable. you will know, That you've accomplished them when something quantitatively different has been accomplished, right? They're achievable, so they're not pie in the sky, they're something you can actually accomplish. They're realistic, so, you know, it doesn't break the bank or your body to achieve them. and they're time based, right? So they, they, they've You can, you can, uh, put them in time. You can actually accomplish them in time. Uh, so sort, sort out the things that can't be made into smart goals. And that you have in that third bucket and also things that come from a negative feeling. Take everything out that you, you put on, on that list that It comes from lack or being wrong or being guilty or being regretful or guilty, right? Take all those out. And um, also, you know, if you look at an item on this list in the third bucket and it makes you overwhelmed, like, Ooh, I don't know how I'm going to do that. It's probably not realistic. And so you want to see if you can break it down maybe into micro steps that are doable. And finally, double check that any of the remaining resolutions in that third category that you're going to embody, that they serve your purpose in life, right? And then set up tracking and accountability around what remains of the handful of resolutions and go out and embody them. And forget, forget all the, all of the other ones for now, right? You, it's, a, it's a refined list now of

Bill: That's cool.

Marty: So that's, that's the process I recommend,

Bill: Wow. I expected like, here it is. Boom, boom, boom, boom, and boom. And you gave me a lot of detail about each one of these steps in the process. Obviously you've talked about this before. This isn't something you're generating in the moment, nor is it, I'm guessing, something that you generated just in the conversation with the client that you gave these five steps to.

Marty: right? It was one of those, you know, things that I had generated in the past. It's been refined. You know, but, um, I went back to, you know, my notes and pull this out. And because, because when he asked the question, I remembered, uh, this was very effective back in 1979 or whatever, not that long ago, but I remember it being very effective and, um, and so I knew exactly what I wanted to give him.

Bill: I'm imagining you doing a corporate workshop where you, where you support Participants and going through each one of those steps over the course of a couple of hours, two or three hours. Have you actually done that?

Marty: I have not. No,

Bill: Would you entertain doing that for a company or corporation that would bring you out to do that?

Marty: absolutely. Absolutely.

Bill: Yeah,

Marty: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Bill: I can, I can see that you would be absolutely in your element, helping folks to wrap their minds around. For example, when you brought up, I think it was in the fourth or maybe the fifth step where you said, make sure that it matches your purpose, this, this resolution

Marty: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Bill: and, and so purpose can be a whole segment right there. I would imagine that could take 30 minutes to an hour easily in a workshop.

Marty: Oh, gosh. Yes. And that purpose, by the way, it doesn't NASA. I spoke about it here because I'm a general audience. Um, I, I mentioned it's your life, you know, your purpose in life, but that purpose, you know, could be if you're making resolutions, For our team at work in the, in the human resources department or for our, um, C suite, you know, in the, in the management of the company, there, there's a purpose there, you know, of profitability that's measurable or, you know, of, uh, acquiring another company or something that you could use it in with regard to a more specific purpose, rather than. Your life's purpose.

Bill: It just is occurring to me right now. I have something else I want to bring in, but before I do, I just want to acknowledge that this is the first. Episode that we've recorded since your, this year's move to Mexico. So

Marty: Mm-hmm

Bill: you're recording from Mexico and I'm back home here in Liberty Lake, Washington. And I wonder, when did you very first go to Mexico? How many years have you been doing this?

Marty: Uh, well, this is my third year in Mexico, but it's my 15th year spending the winter someplace closer to the equator than Colorado. Mm-hmm

Bill: Now, it may or may not have been inspired by a New Year's resolution that you made the decision to spend the winter south of Colorado. Can you tell that story? Because I'm guessing that somewhere in there was an idea, an inspiration, a drive, a desire, and a preference. But it was followed by action and planning. Can, would you mind telling that story?

Marty: Uh, well, it began, as I say, in 2010. I had just been experiencing. It was winter after winter where I was really brutally uncomfortable in the cold. I just, it was like other people were just like, Ooh, yeah, it's kind of fresh out, isn't it? And I was shaking in my bones. I had gone to the doctor and the doctor said that my thyroid wasn't working well. Right. And, um, so I had just started a routine of taking a little, synthetic thyroid every day, but you know, my body hadn't really changed yet. so I, you know, we were just starting I was just starting to really live on the internet. And I was like, you know, I could take my business anywhere now. And, um, and then I started looking into. I also wanted to learn Spanish. That was another goal that fed into, right, helped it aligned with the purpose of being warm, go someplace warm where they speak Spanish, you'll, you know. the cold and get to learn the language you're committed to learning. And so I did some research and I've, I found, um, some very good language schools, immersion schools in Costa Rica. And I'd heard that Costa Rica was a beautiful place. And so I signed up and, uh, went down there and spent The first time I went down, I was there from November through June. It was a nice, long,

Bill: Wow.

Marty: warm winter and spring. Um, and uh, that was, that's how I got into this pattern.

Bill: Once you got the idea, you had a problem to solve and you had an opportunity to, uh, take advantage of.

Marty: Mm hmm.

Bill: Maybe that's not the best way to say it, but the problem to solve was that you couldn't tolerate the cold in Colorado.

Marty: Mm hmm.

Bill: But then you generated a new problem from, from a vision, which inspired you to want it even more. And it sounds like it was the combination of spending the winter in a warm place. And spending the winter in an environment where people were speaking the language that you wanted to learn. That came from a vision, an inspiration, a motivation, and, and now you had some problems to solve to be able to bring this about. I'm guessing that, that you already had a domicile in Colorado that you needed to figure out what to do with while you were gone. I know that that's something you have to go through every year as you do this.

Marty: Yep.

Bill: You must have had to figure out money. To be able to, uh, and, uh, there must have been just all kinds of things that you needed to do to plan

Marty: Schedule the travel. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

Bill: yeah, and for 15 years, you've been doing that. So I'm so, so glad that I asked you to tell that story because it points directly back to what I wanted to bring up.

Marty: Oh, good.

Bill: I didn't know that it was going to. And I'm glad, I'm just delighted that it did. So let's look at the word resolution. I don't know if you've ever really thought about this. I'm just now thinking about it in this way right now today. And it, it, it occurs to me that the word resolution at its core is probably the word resolve. Would you, would you agree?

Marty: go more to the core. Solve.

Bill: Solve, that's where I went. So resolutions, resolved, solve. Now let's, if we go the other way, unsolved. And what is it that gets unsolved? That's unsolved problems, dilemmas, So, in your story, you had problems, dilemmas, and a vision that was, that created more problems and dilemmas that you had to solve. They were unsolved, and so you solved them. Once they got solved, because you had resolved, and I take that to mean, I've not only just solved this problem, I have embraced the solution. I'm resolved. And to me, that, that really points to that third category that you were talking about as you talked about your five step process. Being embodying the solution, embodying the transformation or the change.

Marty: Right. Oh,

Bill: of things I'm for and there's a lot. You said you did that every time you said that I'm for it.

Marty: yes.

Bill: There's a lot of things that I agree with, but, but there's very few things that are going to be life changing for me.

Marty: Right. And you know, like those things I'm for, like my client asked me, give me an example of that. And the example that I used, I recognize that I'm, I'm for organic food.

Bill: Yeah.

Marty: I'm a member of the organic food society. Right? Um, and I shop whenever I can. I buy organic food. I grow some organic food. It's not my whole diet, but right. So these are ways in which I'm for it, but I, it's not 100%. You know what I mean? I don't embody, like, you know, I couldn't say that count on that I will not eat anything but organic food and I will not let you eat anything but organic food. That you couldn't say, but I am for it. Yeah. And so, similarly, like, if you make a resolution and it's something like, well, that's not really so important, you know, if I miss 2 or 3 times, that's not going to matter. Well, then you're not embodying it. You are for it, but, but you're not.

Bill: Now, one of the other things that we talked, uh, touched on before we hit record, once we got all the technical stuff figured out, uh, was, uh, the, the importance of completion,

Marty: Yes,

Bill: having a clean slate, an empty vessel, a container to put something new in.

Marty: really important. Very Crucially Yes. Mm hmm. What else did you want to say about that?

Bill: Well, it's just inspired a lot of conversations, uh, and, uh, very likely because it's this time of the year. Uh, that 2024 has ended 20. We're now well into 2025. We're a week into it. You know, we're into week two of 2025

Marty: Mm hmm.

Bill: and uh, uh, when there is, when there are resolutions, when there are ideas about, I want 2025 to look like this. Like I had a group this morning and the women in that group were talking about what they wanted, who they wanted to be in 2025.

Marty: Uh huh,

Bill: And so in, in order for them to have, have that experience in 2025 that they're imagining or visioning right now, that means they're probably going to have to let go of whatever's left over from 2024. Or build on it. If, if, if 2025 is a continuation of something that they've already started, that's slightly different, but if it's something new that they now want to bring into their lives and who they want to be in their lives, that means they kind of have to let go of who they've been. To make room for who they want to be.

Marty: Even if it's a continuation, like if it's gonna be new in any way, Then there's something about it to complete. Like, yes, I'm going to continue to and exercise three weights, three days a week, but there's something I need to renew about it. Okay. Then there's something to complete about the way you've been doing it in order to renew that.

Bill: I'm not exactly sure how this is related, but I have a sense that it is. So in that very same session, it's a 90 minute session that I had this morning and I'm committed to being present and really listening. And my clients recognize that I am good at that, that

Marty: I recognize it.

Bill: am really here.

Marty: You are.

Bill: However, not a hundred percent of the time. So this morning my phone was flashing off to the left. My Apple watch was buzzing on my wrist. Not just once. It was buzz, buzz, buzz, like 10 times in a row.

Marty: Oh gosh.

Bill: And I'm really now bearing down and trying to listen and be present. One thing about presence is trying kind of breaks that up a little bit. It's really hard to be present when you're trying so hard and, uh, or when you, when it takes effort to be present. So as soon as. Uh, one person finished speaking, I apologized for not being fully present. I acknowledged you may have noticed that I wasn't fully present and listening as you have come to expect me to be able to do. And it's because my phone has been buzzing. Do you mind if I take a break here, give me 30 seconds just to see what's going on. Usually that doesn't happen unless there's some sort of a problem. So I look at my phone and sure enough, my granddaughter who lives in Los Angeles, California, uh, Has just been evacuated for the fires

Marty: Oh,

Bill: and high winds. And, um, so I looked at it and I saw that everything was okay. She's on her way out of LA. She's evacuating. She's going to go see her mom, my daughter, and Boise. But that's what that was all about. Now that I knew what was going on and everything was in order and there was nothing needed for me, I was able to bring my attention fully back and be present again.

Marty: Yeah,

Bill: is a form of completion. I was incomplete in my listening and presence. And by. Listening to those parts of me that were saying, Oh, what's going on over there? Let's, let's check it out. They were going to be persistent. They were not going to let me just stay in the meeting when something was drawing my attention that might've been needed my attention more.

Marty: right. Well, I think that your analogy around capacity is is completely appropriate here too. You had no capacity to be present in that meeting. Your capacity was all taken up by this buzzing phone. Right? And so then by attending to that. You, you emptied your bucket and you had capacity to, to carry the meeting again.

Bill: That's it. That's perfectly said. So let's just say. Let's use another example. Let's just say you or I or a client makes a decision to move from one, one employer to another.

Marty: Mm hmm.

Bill: That's going to require in order, in order for that to be done from a place of power. What that will require would be completion of the old job. I remember Brooke Castillo talking about this. She is someone who, like me, really loved Byron Katie. And she has a company called the Life Coach School. And she has a great podcast with probably 6, 000 episodes now. I mean, she's been doing one a week for consistently forever. And it's really good stuff. Uh, if you haven't, if you haven't discovered Brooke Castile yet, check out the life coach school on the Apple podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts and I, and I think you'll thank me for this. Uh, she has really done a great job. Anyhow, I'm listening to her and what am I talking about now? Oh, she was saying, don't leave a relationship. Until you can be grateful for the one that you've got now, something like that. Don't leave a job until you feel, how did she say it?

Marty: before you're grateful for the one you've had.

Bill: And it's not, yes, and it's not just grateful, but, but where you, you can make the decision from power

Marty: Mm hmm.

Bill: than from fear or from resentment, uh, from incompletion. I'm leaving this job because, because I'm not appreciated.

Marty: Mm

Bill: Well, that's an incompletion.

Marty: hmm.

Bill: I'm leaving this job because, uh, I'm not getting what I want and I've got these feelings about it. So if those feelings can be completed, in other words, expressed, acknowledged, um, and then whatever actions need to be taken, like what, what, what needs to be communicated. to be complete and have that be finished. That seems to shift energy. It opens up possibility, not just within my own mind, if it's me, but also it seems to change the energy around me too.

Marty: Oh, big, big time. Big time. And, and I would, you know, sometimes you don't know what needs you. You're not ready. You can't quite get like in that place. You need to be to create the new year. But if you go and clean up, right, your garage, your desk, you, you know, your relationships. It will, it will come out of that. What needs completing will arise and you'll be like, ah, this is why I've got this because your mind is, is holding on to it. You know, like still haven't cleaned up that mess I made in the basement last week. It's still in disarray And your mind knows that even if you're not consciously thinking about it right now and you go clean that up And you'll have more capacity. You'll

Bill: And you feel it. You can feel that additional capacity. There's more room to move around your, the container is great, feels greater than, than the one before. So this, if this represents the opportunity that I want, but I only have this much room for it. This needs to expand. I need to complete it to make room for the new opportunity.

Marty: Right, right. Yeah, completion is very important before starting anything new. Being able to even think about it.

Bill: I mentioned also that our friend, Jeff Lofton, fellow coach, Jeff Lofton, who's also in our Friday morning mastermind group. He runs men's groups out of Boulder. Is that where he lives? Does he live in Boulder?

Marty: He lives in Erie.

Bill: Erie. That's right. And, and so he does these men's group probably all on online on zoom, but, uh, many of his clients seem to come from the Colorado area. And one of, he referred one of his clients to me who just last week said, Oh, uh, Jeff gave us a handout and I took it home and my wife and I went through it and we had some of the best intimacy in terms of conversation that we've had in our entire relationship. Okay. It was so good. And so I thought, and we do seem to have, we have enough time here, I think, for me to mention a couple of the questions from that, from that, uh, letter. And I've got Jeff's permission to share it. Um, so I've been handing it out to my clients and, uh, they've really enjoyed it as well. And we, we looked at one of these questions this morning in my, in my women's group. So let me pull that up. This is from a document he's calling complete and remember 2024. Of course this could be used regardless of what year you're listening or watching this podcast. So, uh, I've lost you. I'm, I'm looking for you on my screen now. Here we are. Okay. So there's 20 questions. And, uh, he, he sets up his clients with. A four word mantra and he's got this, uh, image with all these letters scattered in this square and whatever four words you find in that the first four words you find in that that's your mantra for twenty twenty four. It has things like peace and clarity and commitment and resolve and that sort of thing. Those are my four words. And then. Interestingly, apparently, once, once you've identified those four words, when you look back at it again, whether you were consciously intentional about it throughout the year or not, something about having identified those four words at the end of the year, when you look back at it, you think resolve. How was resolve part of my mantra this year? Or what was I? What, what does that word mean to me or a commitment? Oh man, I got married this year. In fact, that's true for this particular client that I'm talking about.

Marty: Well,

Bill: good.

Marty: also in, uh, before the end of like when, when you sort of find yourself stuck or, or wrestling with something, you can say, well, what would resolve do,

Bill: Mm hmm.

Marty: you know, if I were to think in terms of those key words for the year, what would they bring to this situation? I don't know what to do about right now.

Bill: And I, I personally, as a coach would want to be more intentional about which words I choose rather than wherever my eyes went. I would want to actually

Marty: Create.

Bill: of, okay, what, what would be my words, word or words for, for the year. And I might, I know my daughter who's 45 years old. She always has a word for the year. She always tells me what it is. And it's really important to her. She's told me, and I'm sorry that I don't remember what it is, but it's always an inspired or motivated word that she comes up with. Uh, I want to say that it's, that it's, uh, clarity. Something like that. So the first question he has, what was your four word mantra for 2024 for the previous year? Of course you, if you haven't, didn't set that that, that, that's not a relevant question right now, but what was it for you if you, if you did have a word of the year, what was that word? And, and then the next question is, what makes 2024 unforgettable in a positive way? So we talked about that question this morning, and I had my participants in my group journal for a couple minutes about it, and then we sent, I sent them off into breakout rooms, and they talked about it, and they all come back laughing and smiling and, you know, that look that you have when you're actually connecting with somebody. Love that. 10 minutes in a breakout room and they come back and they're all just on fire, alive, connected, you know, happy. So, uh, let's, let's pick another one. So like, um, here's a good one. What was the lesson, the greatest lesson you learned in 2024? Shall we play with this a little bit before we move on and begin to wrap up?

Marty: Okay.

Bill: You want to take a stab at it?

Marty: The greatest lesson I learned in 2024.

Bill: Now I've already answered with my wife, so I'm, I'm happy to go first if that would be,

Marty: Yeah,

Bill: yeah. Okay.

Marty: a great question. So I might

Bill: It is. It is. I learned that it's one thing to say. I only do what I want to do, but it's another thing to build structure around that to make doing what I want to do easy.

Marty: mm-hmm

Bill: lesson I learned was build structure around my commitments. So that I can keep them. And an example this year for me was honor my time.

Marty: Mm-hmm

Bill: I don't, I don't work with clients that I'm not a good fit with. I don't work outside of Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, actually doing coaching sessions. Those are a couple of examples of that.

Marty: I see. Okay, good. Well, this came toward the end of the year, but the, the strongest thing that's presenting itself to me right now is recognized that I had an. ongoing complaint about the world of marketing. it was taking no responsibility for my attitude and my actions around marketing. I was just. Blaming marketing. It's bad.

Bill: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Sounds

Marty: And that was huge. I

Bill: familiar.

Marty: that's a pretty huge realization, you know, because it gave me the opportunity to do something about it instead of you know, throwing it all in a complaint bucket.

Bill: Yeah, that's great. Uh, how about one more? Let's see. It's not fair. I'm the one that gets to choose here, but, uh,

Marty: one other point I want to make after

Bill: Oh yeah.

Marty: before we close about, um, uh, making the New Year new. Go ahead.

Bill: Uh, well, I, I think I'd rather go there. Let's hear, let's go where you want to go before we run out of time.

Marty: Well, in the article that you mentioned at the top of my newsletter, the way that I approached the question how to make things new is to look at where are caught in binary thinking. You know, like, well, if I don't do marketing the way it's supposed, you know, everybody talks about it then. have no business. Well, no, that's binary. Or, you know, there are a lot of things like, um, well, another example that I give in that article is, um, the easiest solution is the best solution. not easy that can't be the best solution or vice versa. If it's hard, this must not be the right solution. Well, that's. You know, that's another example. Like, sometimes the best solution is complicated, and they, life can be complex. Um, there are times when Occam's Razor does apply, and the best is the easiest, but not always, especially with human beings, they're complex. So, um, if you can see where you're caught on the horns of a dilemma, Like this, then you, you can see, that's why I don't get anything new every year. I come around and say, well, if I'm going to lose weight, then I'm going to have to work hard at it. And I don't want to work hard. So here I'm again, the next year saying the same thing. And it just goes back and forth. It's like a ping pong game. You play with yourself throughout your life. So recognizing where you're caught in, in, uh, binary thinking is very important because then you can go to work on bridging the, the binary thoughts, like, okay, well, how, what would it look like to lose weight and not have it be hard? I get creative about how you could integrate those two opposites or contradictions. You know, um, Congress is experiencing some of this right now as they come into their their new session. This side wants that. This side wants that. How can we synchronize and both get what they want at the same time? So look for that, look for that center place where you can have it all. Right. and and be committed to You know, not not hanging yourself out to dry on these dilemmas, but but finding the middle way that that I think goes a long way toward many of the reasons why New Year's resolutions don't stick is because we feel like we were caught on in a dilemma.

Bill: Either this or that, the binary thinking. Yeah. Yeah. When there might be a middle ground. Um, I liked the way that you said earlier during your five step process. Now set that aside.

Marty: Mm

Bill: That is so useful. Uh, temporarily suspend your concern about this

Marty: Mm

Bill: the next few minutes. Set it over here. You can have it back in a minute. But for now, if you didn't have that concern, then what? Then what might be possible? If it wasn't that black and white. If, another one of your examples, I'm looking at your newsletter right now. Uh, I know it's bad, but I can't stop.

Marty: hmm. Mm hmm. Right.

Bill: if you could suspend the judgment about that thing that you think you need to stop or about yourself for not being able to stop for just a few minutes to suspend it, you can have it back in a minute.

Marty: hmm.

Bill: Now, what if it's not about being bad and what if it's not even about stopping

Marty: Right.

Bill: now? What can we look at? What's now? What is possible?

Marty: Exactly.

Bill: It just releases it from the stuckness. And by the way, most people, when I offer that, that what they suspended back again, then they don't want it,

Marty: Right? but

Bill: they find this.

Marty: you know, that you can always bring it back. And

Bill: Yes.

Marty: through this you might see a better way, a different way to articulate what you

Bill: Mm hmm.

Marty: the year such that It's not bad, um, or it doesn't the same issues that block your moving forward with it.

Bill: Bad. And I have to stop. Don't weigh as much anymore when they take it back sometimes to, for example,

Marty: Right, right. exactly. I mean,

Bill: and I'm talking about they, how about me to me to, I mean, this is how I know and, and so impassioned. I am so passionate about, about personal transformation is because I run myself through every, what every maze that I have, my clients run themselves through. Every single one of them.

Marty: that's one of the great things about coaching.

Bill: You have to, if you don't, you can't coach.

Marty: Right, right.

Bill: Well, I need to wrap up. I got a group starting here very shortly, and I'm looking forward to that and need a little bio break in between. So Marty, once again, really enjoyed the conversation.

Marty: Same here. Thank you very much.

Bill: We'll see you next week.